the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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