He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize