the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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