so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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