I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Drake has all the answers
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize