i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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