Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize