'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
