Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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