First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
