The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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