two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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