whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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