1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
People in love make me want to vomit
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
