you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
