I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
