I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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