What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
