woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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