I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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