I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Your dad touched me again.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
