thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
