I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize