The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
