if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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