I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
