And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
