What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
