she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
