What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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