his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
