Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
