Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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