I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
