Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
