do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
