Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
