that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
