She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
