I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
