How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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