Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
