is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
