he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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