All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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