Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
