Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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