Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
