and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
