Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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