come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
