R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
