im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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