Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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