Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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