Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
