We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
