I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
