That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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