Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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