'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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