you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
